Still Cheaper Than Having Kids

This here is Buddy. He's one of two dogs that I co habitate with and the closest thing to children that I will ever have. Here's his story - Now, I get home from work Friday and Buddy is running around whimpering with a large open gash on his backside with skin and fur pulled back far enough that I could see exposed bloody dog flesh. Well I almost had a heart attack as you might imagine coming home to such carnage and not knowing what the hell could have happened between the time I left for work and the time I came home. Anyhow, I had to act quickly so I called the vet and they were nice enough to squeeze us in. Well the doc takes one

look at Bud Bud and tells me he definitely needs stitches and since it's getting close to closing time I have the option of either bringing him back in the morning or paying $17 for him to stay overnight and get the stitches right away. Well you know $17 is a lot of money to my broke ass and afterall
he's only a dog so I said "we'll be back in the morning." It's not like he was gonna bleed to death overnight or anything, right? That way I could hook myself up with some Del Taco on the way home. Are you buying this so far? Of course you're not stupido! You better not be! I'm not that freaking heartless! You should be ashamed of yourself for even thinking I'd take tacos over my poor dying animal! Nachos however, we'll that's another story. Heh. Ok, back to Bud Bud. Well being the responsible parent that I am (ok, dog owner - whatever!) I checked him into the doc's office, gave him a kiss and a pat on the head and assured him that he would be just fine and that I would be back to pick him up in the morning. When I got home and did some poking around trying to find the culprit of my dog's injury, I found a large nail coming out of the side of the doggie door that was only visible from the outside of the house. I figured that had to be it so I called Dave and he was nice enough to come over and get it all fixed up before the same thing could happen to Baxter. Well I did just what I promised Buddy and the next day he was shaved and all stitched up and anxious to come home with me and see his brother Baxter. It was a happy reunion and we celebrated his bravery with hot dog treats and pie. Ok, maybe not pie but it sure sounds good. Buddy has to take 2 pills a day and goes back in a week to get the stitches taken out provided he doesn't manage to rip them out beforehand. He's been doing pretty good so far so we'll see how it goes. Anyway, it was quite an expensive experience for me and the 10 or 15 minutes of temporary insanity that I may have had regarding having real children of my own has surely passed with no chance of coming back.
Whew! That was a close one! If you'd like to learn a little more about Buddy (and why wouldn't you, he's only the bestest bravest dog in the whole world!) click here - Buddy this is the link to his webpage on Dogster.com. His brother Baxter has one as well so check 'em out. If you're an amimal lover like me, you can appreciate what they bring to our lives. They're always happy to see you and they love you unconditionally no matter what your faults are. Oh, and you don't have to wipe their asses or teach them about sex and drugs and send them to college while you on the otherhand, are only working a regular 9 to 5 ordinary Joe job and are just barely able to make ends meet and still driving the same 20 year old beat up ass car and wearing the same clothes you wore in the 80's and having to sacrifice everything that means anything to you because you thought it would be really cool to have a kid and then your husband leaves you and you only have 1 income to support both of you because he disappears and you can't find him to make him pay child support.........oh, did I just go on a rant? Sorry about that. Seriously, I hear parenthood is a great thing and that every woman should experience it at least once in her lifetime. Yeah, right. What lame-o man came up with that one? Seriously!